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[22 Jul 2006|06:51pm] |
I finally talked to you.
Finally figured out where you are, what you're doing, if you're okay.
And I feel so much better.
I feel better knowing that you're exactly the fucking same, and that you're continuing down your typical path of nothingness.
And that you will amount to nothing.
And that you mean nothing to me.
That makes me feel better.
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[08 Jul 2006|09:20pm] |
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I wish I knew where you are.
And what you're doing.
And if you're okay.
I shouldn't care, but I do.
It's not that I miss you.
I just sometimes wonder what it would be like now.
Seems like it's been forever since I've even spoken to you.
Much less felt any care towards you.
But I think about you every day.
And I wonder if you think about me too.
But knowing that you don't have a caring bone in your body, you probably don't.
And I'm okay with that.
By the way, today would have been a year.
I had a fucking reminder set on my phone.
Can't even explain how it felt when that alarm went off.
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[19 Jun 2006|10:31pm] |
Can you name 9 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Anyone you're thinking of, in no order. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 9 people. Absolutely no cheating and switching positions on the list, either! Ready, Start!
1. Hayly
2. Jacob
3. Louisa
4. Andrew
5. Steven
6. David
7. Callie
8. Darious
9. Dylan
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[15 Jun 2006|06:25pm] |
So, first of all...
I don't have a car for nearly a fucking week. Why, you ask? I'll tell you. My car needed some transmission work done and my dad decided it was a wonderful idea to turn the car in the day before I had to be at work at 6:45 AM. AND right before the weekend. Fucking wonderful.
Second of all, I just recently opened a bank account and put in about $200, and the bank is fucking retarded and decided that they were going to fuck up my account, and I now have a $0 balance. FUCK ALL OF YOU.
Fuckers (just thought I'd add another FUCK).
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[11 Jun 2006|06:28pm] |
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music |
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Iron and Wine-In My Lady's House |
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Sometimes I wish I knew how to tell people exactly what I'm feeling at that exact moment. Maybe that way, I'd do more of the things I always wish I'd done. If that makes any sense at all.
I wish I knew how to be more true to myself and other people at the right times.
I wish I could feel better about myself than I do.
I wish I could just open up, let go, have absolutely no inhibitions at all.
I wish I had a way to explain to you how I feel.
I wish I would recognize things sooner.
I really wish people wouldn't come into my life at the right times, and have to leave just as quickly.
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[28 May 2006|12:53am] |
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[26 May 2006|04:40pm] |
What a lonely summer it shall be.
Hayly leaves on Monday for Germany, and she'll be gone for three weeks. I know she will have fun, and I AM a bit jealous, but she won't be there to complete the summer Hoo-Puffs-C-Bag triangle. It will be wonderful when she gets back.
Steven is leaving June 11th for an engineering program thing in Indiana, and then to visit family. Not back until July 13th or so. I know I told him that I think this program would be good for him, and I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I won't see him for about a month.
Between those two and my other friends leaving (Andrew's going to Bolivia on June 2nd for a month or so, and David is going to be gone at camp and other places for about seven weeks--MY SPEED-DIAL BOYS!), I feel like I'm going to be so alone. I will have Dylan, Darious, and Pen, but it just won't be the same as our whole group being there.
But on the upside, I will get to hang out with Puffins a lot, whom I haven't hung out with in far too long. I love that girl.
And, I got a job at It's a Grind Coffee Shop on Parmer/Amherst by Bear Rock Cafe and Cool River. Can't you just see it now? Katelyn the sexy barista. MMM yeah.
Everyone tell me their summer plans so we can get together. And I really mean that, I'm not trying to be the shitty person who says "Let's hang out" and then ignores you.
I love you.
I wonder, is there anything I'm going to miss?
I wanna get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion…
I wanna taste the salt of your skin
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[28 Apr 2006|06:21pm] |
SUMMER....
I NEED YOU.
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[15 Apr 2006|06:30pm] |
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Is it simply that people are trying to ruin my life?
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[02 Apr 2006|08:07pm] |
So much stuff has been going on that I don't know what to do with myself.
I'm not sure how this works, but it's an iPod thing...
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[19 Mar 2006|11:23pm] |
I am a cuddler.
I am a morning person.
I am an only child.
I am Catholic.
I am currently in my pajamas.
I am currently single.
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
I am left handed.
I am married.
I am addicted to my myspace.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I am very shy around the opposite gender at first.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
I currently have a crush on someone.
I currently regret something that I have done.
When I get mad I curse frequently.
I don't like anyone.
I enjoy country music.
I enjoy jazz music.
I enjoy smoothies.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I have a car.
I have a cell phone.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school
I have a hidden talent.
I have a lot to learn.
I have a pet.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I have all my grandparents.
I have at least one brother.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I am smart.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have or HAD broken a bone.
I have Caller I.D. on my phone.
I have changed a diaper.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have done something illegal.
I have had major/minor surgery.
I have killed another person:
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have had the cops called on me. (well, not me SPECIFICALLY)
I have mood swings.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy:
I have seen the television show The O.C.
I have watched Sex and the City.
I like Shakespeare.
I like the taste of blood.
I love to cook.
I like to sing.
I love Michael Jackson. (guiltily so)
I love sleeping.
I love to play computer games.
I love to shop.
I miss someone right now.
I own 100 CDs or more:
I own and use a library card.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I strongly dislike math.
I was born in a country other than the US.
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I will try almost anything once.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
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[27 Feb 2006|06:04pm] |
First name:
Middle Name:
Last name:
Your birthday:
Favorite color:
Place where you want to be kissed but haven't:
Bad habit you have:
Favorite fruit:
Favorite animal:
Favorite teacher:
Best friend's nickname:
The one you love:
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[08 Feb 2006|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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OAR-James |
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I had a long conversation with my dad about college. He's a lot more open to me not being perfect than I thought he was.
I'm scared as fuck.
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[26 Jan 2006|11:26am] |
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Staying home from school today, partially because I'm tired, partially because I don't feel well, and partially because we have TAKS Field testing for sophs and juniors. What a waste of time. McNamara basically said, "If you come to the test, please try hard so our school doesn't look like a bunch of idiots. If you don't want to come, don't worry about it. It isn't important anyway."
( Annnddd now for the anonymous notes... )
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[07 Jan 2006|11:18pm] |
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( Yep. )
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[28 Dec 2005|10:55am] |
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So, about two weeks ago, I had to go to the doctor, because I was feeling something weird on my ovary. The doctor scheduled me an appointment to get a sonogram (at which appointment my mom discovered that I am "sexually active"), and the results showed that I have an ovarian cyst. They don't really know anything about it, but this morning (at the ass crack of dawn, might I mention) I had another doctor's appointment to see if he could still feel it. It's still there, and he said something about how "it keeps moving around, and it's higher in the abdomen than your last appointment"...weird. So now I'm all freaked out because he's sending me to a surgeon specialist guy to get a second opinion about what should be done about it, and I probably have to get another sonogram in about a month.
I hope I don't have to get cut open.
Oh, and Christmas was good. I got:
white iPod nano
Juicy Couture jeans (what?)
new Converse
a couple of shirts
a jacket
a new sweater
pajamas
slippers
$40 from my stepmom's family
$30 to Sephora
a CD
the Chronicles of Narnia book that was re-released (mm-hmm)
$100 to Dillard's (from my mom's boyfriend)
Cruel Intentions
a watch
a new makeup bag
and of course, a lovely necklace from my lover.
All in all, it was a damn good Christmas.
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[21 Dec 2005|09:24am] |
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I never do LiveJournal anymore.
But don't get any ideas.
I don't do MySpace, either.
Motha fuckas.
I miss you, LiveJournal.
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